I’ve written before about wanting neon signs to light my path. I guess I’ve thought I needed clear and obvious direction that the choices I’m making are the right choices. As I recognized in a post (Simple Beauty) a few years ago, “God’s probably like, ‘Neon signs? You don’t go out to the bars…I’ll show you your message everywhere you look instead. I bet you won’t miss that!’ ” And I did recognize some messages then.
The tricky thing is that reading signs isn’t a one time thing. A lot has happened since I was on top of the divine messaging meant to reach me back then. And a lot of messages have been given since. How many have I missed? Let’s not worry too much about that. When I was younger, probably only nine or ten years old, I remember a conversation with my mom where I concluded that we’re given choices and when we choose the wrong one, we’re given that same right choice again And again until we take it. Sometimes it takes me a while to choose the path I’m meant to trod. I’m still, and always, learning to recognize and trust my signs. I am confident, though, that the right choice will continue to present itself until I recognize it.
This last week, memories have been coming in hard and heavy, reminding me what military life can be like. Right this moment I feel like we’re living a somewhat normal life. My husband is on shore duty and we’re going to be in our own house for Christmas. But…this hasn’t been the norm.
There were all those special trips to see Santa – not just to tell him what Lego set was wanted that year, but with special requests. We’ve let a mall Santa or two know that we’d be staying at Grandma and Grandpa’s house on Christmas Eve. And there was the year we asked Santa if he could, please, come a day early because Dada had duty on Christmas Eve. I wasn’t sure if the mall Santa would get it, but he played along with a jolly laugh. “Of course I can! I was going to be really busy Christmas Eve anyway!”
Over the past many months I’ve written about being on the verge. Last night I stepped off.
My heart and brain and confidence have been growing at a rate that I sometimes can’t believe. I’ve felt full of…something, everything! I’ve been learning about me and who I am and what I offer. And last night I decided to truly offer it. It was scary, but I’m branching out from writing here…I started another blog! It’s the beginning of a coaching/mentoring program I’ll be developing. I don’t know exactly what that will look like, yet, but I’m thinking a combination of services to meet your needs. Think online groups, one-on-one chats, and workbooks…all geared to help you rediscover (or maybe see for the first time) your healing power.
I’ll still post here every so often, but my new page, my new business, can be found at www.anniegebel.com. Please come find me there! And share and connect and let me know how to best serve you. Because I’ve stepped off the verge and I’m soaring! The view is incredible and I hope to inspire you to ride the wind with me.
When I was in college, I lost my watch. Prior to losing it, I looked at it a lot. I checked it to be sure I wasn’t late to class. I consulted it to see when my work shifts would start, or end. Often I looked at it while waiting for friends who were supposed to meet me at such and such a time, and then letting them know they were late. I spent a lot of time seeing what time it was and judging anything and anyone who wasn’t on time by my watch. Then I lost it.
And for a time, I thought I might lose my mind along with it! What was I going to do without a watch to keep me on track? How would everyone around me, who was much less concerned with timeliness, it seemed, get where they needed to go when they needed to go there?
For almost a year now I’ve felt like a coiled spring. I feel like I’m going to pounce. I’m excited about some future thing, realization, job, something. I’m giddy over the possibilities but have no flipping clue what I’m on the verge of!
I’ve asked friends and they’re all excited for me too. They can’t wait to see how all my internal growth translates into something external. Something that’s very likely to reach out to others, because let’s me honest – helping is at the heart of me. I’ve tried on different labels and titles. I don’t know. I simply don’t know what I’m on the verge of!
As is often the case, I saw something on Facebook and it’s turning into a blog post! Much of my inspiration comes from others and their thoughts, worries, suggestions, and (of course) social media posts. This particular motivation to type came in the form of a quote by writer, illustrator, and greeting card designer (that job would be so cool!) Emily McDowell. The quote is great, and I’ll get to that in a minute, but she shared a little back story when she posted the graphic as well. And it’s good too. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on that wisdom.
“I’m learning that if you want to fully inhabit your purpose, taking yourself seriously is actually a requirement.”
Ms. McDowell explains that she used to think that taking herself seriously might lead to arrogance, but has come to see that isn’t necessarily the outcome.
Posted in Deep Breaths
Tagged confidence, education, emotions, energy, faith, growing up, love, motherhood, parenting, quirks, Self care, self love, worth
I’m sure you’ve heard that girls pick husbands who remind them of their fathers. I don’t know how true it is all the time, but sometimes I’m sure it plays out. In my case, I wasn’t looking for anything specific, but I found a man who actually does have some traits in common with my dad. There are some definite differences too, but recently I was surprised to realize one pretty big similarity.
Posted in Just Because
Tagged confidence, faith, family, growing up, love, marriage, Navy life, parenting, rape, Self care, self love, sexual assault