Be Like Him. Please.

I am a mother and I am a writer.  I want my kids to live their lives.  I want them to grow and learn and make mistakes and find joy.  I want all of that to happen without worrying about whether Mama’s going to post about it.  On the other hand, I’m still growing and learning and making mistakes and finding joy.  And I want to write about all that.  And often it has to do with them.  What a quandary!

I worry that my children may stumble upon my ramblings and think that I was critiquing them or being judgy about who they are.  And when I have those fears, I often don’t write about subjects that could be helpful to others (or at least therapeutic to me).  Because even though the writings are more about me and how I’m struggling through some moment or phase of parenting, I worry that their feelings might be hurt.  Often that’s what happens. Continue reading

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I got a tattoo last weekend.  Two little letters.  One little word.  The thing is, this one word has become a foundation for me, something I build my goals on.  A mantra that I lean on when I’m feeling off-kilter.  Looking back at my life, it’s probably a word that’s always meant something more than one would think on the surface.  It’s a big-deal kind of word.


It’s now written beautifully and simply on my wrist.  For me to see.  To anchor me when I need it.  To inspire me when I need it.  It is my goal in life to…be. Continue reading

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Enough is Enough

Some days are hard.  You might be able to say why.  You might not have the slightest clue why.  It doesn’t really matter.  Hard is hard.  And, let it be known that your hard, my hard, his hard, everyone’s hard can be different and that’s perfectly acceptable.  If you feel like it’s a hard day, then it is, regardless of what anyone else may think or be silly enough to say out loud.  Bottom line – some days are hard, and if today is a hard day for you, then it is.  Period. Continue reading

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Sub Wife Life, The Early Years

I’m what they call “seasoned” in the Navy spouse world.  We’ve been married for more than 16 years and my husband, whom I’ve known since before he joined the Navy, has almost 20 years in service.  Even though I often think I’m still learning how to do this right along with my sister sub wives, I get asked how I do it all the time.  I’ve enlisted some friends to help answer this complex question and to chat about some of the difficulties of this life.  Continue reading

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Smiles and Tears

Days ago, as I looked around at a glorious Pacific Northwest day, knowing that I’ll be leaving all of this beauty behind in less than a year, I realized something.  It is okay to mourn and be happy.

I tend to focus on the positive in any situation, especially when we’re moving again.  As a military family, we’ve moved a handful of times – not as often as some, but enough to have called a few different states “home.”  Most every time we’ve moved I’ve done so with the knowledge that it’s where we’ll live for a few years, and then move on.  With that in mind, I always figure I’d better enjoy as much as I can of things I like and the people I connect with during the time I’ve there because it’s a temporary deal.  Continue reading

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All Kinds in Every Group

I remember a college professor who told us about a convention he had gone to.  They sat six teachers at each table.  In the center of the table were sheets of stick on labels.  Everyone was asked to write words that described them – their religions, their sexuality, the hobby they most identified with, their marital status – maybe some other things.  Then, they tucked the labels away throughout the morning session, while they did ice breakers and had small group activities to learn more about being educators.  After lunch, though, they were asked to put their labels on. Continue reading

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We watched the local 3rd of July fireworks last night and I found myself reminiscing.  I’m sure that has something to do with this being the last 4th of July we’ll be spending in Washington, which has been our home on and off for the past two decades.  It probably also has something to do with returning to the state we grew up in and being closer to family a year from now.

Either way, while I sat in front of my husband with his arms around me, I commented out loud that the 4th is one of my favorite holidays.  The kids chimed in with their favorites – the gift receiving ones.  And that makes sense – they’re kids.  I hope, though, that as they age they’ll begin to understand what else holidays have to offer – traditions, laughter, joy, family…love.

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