Uncomfortable Unknown

I had a professor in grad school, Charlie, who used to say that clients – I was in school to be a therapist – that clients often had a hard time changing because the uncomfortable known is easier that the discomfort of the unknown. Charlie passed away recently, so I’ve been thinking about his teachings a lot. This particular one keeps coming to mind as I witness so many people struggle with the unknowns of schooling, work, and life in general.

So, if you would, please take a few seconds to think caring thoughts for Charlie’s family.

And, then, settle in while I talk to you about comfort.

Month of the Military Child

The Military Child.  Some are fondly called brats.  Most are called resilient by many.  Three are called mine.  Those three aren’t brats and they’re downright tired of being resilient.

It’s All Valid

Several years ago I, a Navy wife, was talking to my sister, an Army wife.  Her husband was deployed in a war zone on a year-long tour with one R&R period.  My husband was out to sea on a couple month submarine patrol.  I was crying and upset and lost.  She was comforting me.  When I collected myself and started to feel better, I apologized for complaining to her when clearly what she was experiencing was worse, based only on the length of time we’d be without our spouses.  She compassionately responded, “It’s not better or worse, just different.”

I want you to remember that right now.

Thoughts on Prayers

Everyone from The Mamas and The Papas to Beyoncé to Disturbed has songs about prayers. In fact, it’s something people not only sing about, but they talk about it too.

“I’ll pray for you.”

“My prayers are with you.”

“Would you like to pray together?”

And a social media favorite – “Unspoken prayer request, please.”

Witness

I sometimes often need to see or hear something more than once for the message to start to sink in.  First I’m all, “Huh, that’s interesting.”  Then, “Weird…just read that yesterday” or “Cool, this song has a very similar message to that quote so-and-so posted.”  Then, after a bird flies overhead, casting a shadow at high noon three days before a full moon, I’m finally like, “Oooh….I get it!”

That’s been happening a lot lately.  In fact, it’s happening so often these days that I’m starting to catch on a bit quicker.  This blog post is brought to you by only two pieces of the puzzle that painted the whole picture for me!

Lighting the Way

I’m still over here trying to find the path for me.  I’ve been doing a lot of growth work – classes, meditation, Tai Chi, Tarot…and it’s been incredible!  I’ve realized a few things.  The biggest one?

Not Done Yet

Perimenopause.  I’m not sure when the term came about.  Growing up, I remember hearing that hot flashes and mood swings were part of menopause, but it seems that today’s doctors are being slightly more precise and that those two symptoms are just the beginning!

What is it?  Perimenopause means the time “around” menopause.  Menopause is the point in which you’ve not had a period for twelve months.  Perimenopause can last for a couple of years or a decade or longer.  It’s fun like that.

What happens during this time?  It’s probably easier to tell you what doesn’t happen, but I’ll give you a basic rundown of some of the options…

my depression

I was depressed.  At the time I couldn’t say it.  For the first few weeks, I didn’t know it.  Maybe I wasn’t actually depressed in those first couple of weeks.  Maybe depression snuck up on me from a place of feeling low, being tired, or just being overwhelmed.  I’ll never know.  I wasn’t diagnosed, but I know that a month into it – I could have been, had I gone to someone for help.  But, I didn’t.

I did try. 

Lost in a Fog

It’s been more than six months since I’ve posted anything here.  In fact, it’s been that long since I’ve sat down to type.  I don’t know if I’ll be back regularly now or not, but I do feel called to share where I’ve been.

If you were reading my posts regularly at the end of last year, you know that I was feeling on the verge for some time.   Then, I confidently stepped into the air to fly.

After that?  Nothing.

Crickets. 

Interpreting My Signs

I’ve written before about wanting neon signs to light my path.  I guess I’ve thought I needed clear and obvious direction that the choices I’m making are the right choices.  As I recognized in a post (Simple Beauty) a few years ago, “God’s probably like, ‘Neon signs? You don’t go out to the bars…I’ll show you your message everywhere you look instead. I bet you won’t miss that!’ ” And I did recognize some messages then.

The tricky thing is that reading signs isn’t a one time thing.  A lot has happened since I was on top of the divine messaging meant to reach me back then.  And a lot of messages have been given since.  How many have I missed?  Let’s not worry too much about that.  When I was younger, probably only nine or ten years old, I remember a conversation with my mom where I concluded that we’re given choices and when we choose the wrong one, we’re given that same right choice again And again until we take it.  Sometimes it takes me a while to choose the path I’m meant to trod.  I’m still, and always, learning to recognize and trust my signs. I am confident, though, that the right choice will continue to present itself until I recognize it.