This morning was an early one, after a late night. Suffices to say that last night was rough…fell asleep crying, not ready to go into why, but I’m fine, for anyone that’s worried. I’ll probably tell you all about that rough night eventually. I just don’t feel like being quite that vulnerable right now. I’m fairly transparent, but on my own time. I need time to process and experience my emotions for myself before putting them out there for all of you.
So, anyway, this morning was an early morning. I woke with a start at 4:21 am, thinking I was late. Thankfully I fell back asleep until the alarm at 6:00 am. While I was getting dressed, though, I said to myself, “There’s nothing I’d rather do than curl up in a ball and go back to sleep.” Then I mumbled in an early morning spitefulness to myself, “Then why don’t you?”
I’m a feeler (that’s my name) and emotions are my game. Actually, my name is Annie but feeling emotions is so much a part of me that it’s probably a better descriptor than any physical traits I might have. I feel my emotions as well as great sympathy and empathy for others. I carry and experience emotions always. It’s what I do. I’m a feeler.
Part of doing the feeling thing, for me, is mulling things over. I ponder everything, often more than once. My mom and I were just talking the other day about how we both like to write things down so we can come across them later and think about them again! I still think about lessons I learned in elementary school. I still consider behaviors I witnessed in high school and wonder if my first take on the situation was correct. I like hindsight. I’m not living in the past or ruminating unhealthily, but I do believe there’s a lot to learn and sometimes I’m not ready to grasp the full potential of those lessons on the first go ’round. You may have heard that when you know better you do better. I think that’s part of my revisiting old judgments…I want to be sure I’m doing the best I can. Continue reading
Posted in Deep Breaths, Your Story
Tagged confidence, connections, emotions, faith, growing up, kids, kindness, love, quirks, self love, teachers, worth, writing
I enjoy reading to my kids, even if they don’t love it. To be fair, one of the reasons they don’t always enjoy it is that the depth of these kids’ books often hit me hard. Then I cry. I’m fine with tears. I’m fine with feeling. For some reason, though, none of my children see my vulnerability as the strength that I do. Hopefully some day they will. Because it is.
Anyway, part of the reason the words of these authors speak to me is because my childhood was abruptly halted and growing up was forced. The words they use to speak to kids, on their level, speak to me on every level. I wrote about this in Flowers of Edo. Today it happened again with A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L’Engle.
Today’s been a great day so far! Got the groceries bought, home, and put away! I got a load of laundry, washed, dried, and put away! Three people at the grocery store not only smiled back, but said hello too! I got a compliment on my new leggings! I’ve got my favorite earrings on, not to mention a few bangle bracelets and new second hole arrow earrings! I’ve got time to write and used an exclamation point for every sentence in the paragraph!
It’s been a great day.
Dear Fellow Drivers,
Learn to drive. Please.
It’s tempting to leave it at that, but that’s not much of a letter, now is it? So, some background on my request…I see more stupidity on the roads that really is necessary!
And now some helpful hints…