Everyone from The Mamas and The Papas to Beyoncé to Disturbed has songs about prayers. In fact, it’s something people not only sing about, but they talk about it too.
“I’ll pray for you.”
“My prayers are with you.”
“Would you like to pray together?”
And a social media favorite – “Unspoken prayer request, please.”
With all these thoughts and prayers being asked for and given, it’s somewhat surprising, and a little sad to me, that some people think of prayer as an easy way out. I’ve even seen it called artificial or fake sympathy. If you’re that much of a skeptic about prayer, chances are that nothing I say is going to change your mind. I’m going to say my piece, anyway. Who knows, maybe something will resonate with you.
Truth be told, prayer can be lip service. It can be a habitual response just like saying, “I love you,” when you hang up the phone. However, it can also be a meaningful and heartfelt response, too. Prayer IS action, which is what people who call it fake really want, but it’s still probably not exactly what they’re looking for.
When praying we kneel or stand or bow. Some people even lay prostrate. We hold hands with others or clasp our own together or sometimes just place our palms together nicely, in the traditional nun’s pose. We might even throw our hands in the air, in despair or pain…a plea to a higher power. Prayer can be a wish on a dandelion or shooting star for a child or anyone full of hope, innocence, and a dash of magic. Prayer can move through space on the wind, as with Tibetan prayer flags. Praying can focus our minds. Praying is a very active practice for those who pray. It’s definitely not doing nothing, although I can see how it might look like it from the outside.
So, I invite anyone who is skeptical about what prayer can do for a person or situation to step out of their comfort zone and say a prayer of their own.
Whoa, right?
But…here me out. A lot of people pray, even many Atheists. I googled it because I was curious, and several sources confirmed that even people who don’t believe in a God or a god sometimes (or often) take part in conversations with the energy within themselves or support others who do believe. For others, the gamut of who we pray to runs from one single higher power to many divine beings to Mother Earth, herself. So, don’t worry about it…you can address your prayer to anyone or no one. I really don’t think it’s who that matters. (Although I’m sure some would disagree.)
So, the who and the how are negotiable and really up to you. What about the why? Also up to you, but here are some of my whys, maybe you can relate.
When I was younger someone told me that praying was a conversation with God. At the time, I took it as one complete statement. Over the years, though, I’ve picked it apart more and emphasized different things. There was a time when it was all on God. I was hurting and pleading for answers. “Why, God? Why me? Why this? Why? GOD, answer me!” After some therapy to deal with the weight of life, I stopped demanding answers from God, stopped yelling at Him. In fact, I started questioning a lot of the religion I’d been taught. But, I never stopped the conversations with something…someone. At their most basic, conversations are a great way to get our thoughts organized and out of our heads, even when the “other” isn’t answering directly. My prayers during this time were similar to an exercise I’d done in therapy more than a couple of times.
My counselor asked me to pretend I was talking to the person that had hurt me. What would I say? Sometimes she’d have me write it down. Other times, I’d talk out loud in her office to someone who wasn’t there. It didn’t always help me immediately feel better, but it did always help me see something new about myself, my situation, how far I’d come, what I needed to work on next…some bit of a deep breath that gave me renewed life. Without realizing it, I started praying similarly. It really wasn’t until after I was out of counseling that I realized my prayers really were chats with something other than me. I don’t even know if I was talking to God. The emphasis was no longer there for me, it was about getting thoughts out of my head. Prayer was therapy.
Since then, prayer has taken many forms for me and I’ve prayed for many different reasons. To be honest, though, there were several years where my only prayerlets (they were possibly too small to be actual prayers) were sending these words out into the universe when I heard a siren: “Please let the first responders be safe and let the situation be resolved in the best way possible.” Those were the years when life was busy with toddlers and I barely knew which way was up, let alone what I believed in or who to pray to. But, even then, I wanted to think positive thoughts for those emergency situations that happen unexpectedly and tragically. I’ve always believed positive thoughts were worth having.
This brings us to a few years ago when I had stopped thinking of my prayers as prayers. Every time I saw “thoughts and prayers” given and people started questioning if that was enough of a response to tragedy, I thought about energy. I wanted to send energy. I wanted to beam it from the rainbow-colored flower on my fuzzy Care Bear chest!
I asked a friend what she knew about energy and that question began a journey of self-discovery and growth that continues today…and to my current thoughts and reasons for praying. I pray to send that energy out to those that need it. I am still learning and don’t fully understand the energy that courses in and around me, but I believe that it’s there and can be sent to surround someone in need with a vibrational blanket or someone who’s exhausted with a spark that lights their fire again. I think there are people meant for different parts to play in the change needed in the world. I’m not saying I’ll never be on the front lines of a protest or the person asking for others to support me as I fight for our common cause. But, for now, I believe my calling is to be that support, that ripple of energy that fans out and gives others what they need to keep being strong, going further, and being the voices and faces of change. I also pray mantras, verses, or prayers that I’ve written or found that I can recite repeatedly to help myself learn something specific or believe something I already know. As I said, I’m still a work in progress. Repetition leads to habit and beliefs are kind of like thoughts that have become habits in our minds. Reciting prayers helps me be healthier, mind and body.
I don’t know if any of this encourages you to whisper a little prayer for me or pray you catch me, but this is the way I pray. And, now you know my thoughts on the subject (and a few of the lyrics from the songs mentioned earlier). I hope they help you in some way.
Perhaps you already pray but enjoyed my possibly different take on the subject. Perhaps you laugh at those who pray or feel frustrated with those who, in your eyes, only pray. Perhaps you’re somewhere in the middle. Regardless of how and why and to whom you pray or not, I will pray for you. I’ll pray for love and from my belief in joy and growth coming from pain. I’ll pray for renewed focus and deeper understanding. Maybe you’ll even feel a gentle breeze or the warmth of the sun and wonder if that was my prayer. Maybe your wondering will be the beginning of your prayer. Let it be so.
Sips of Stillness 