Second Guessing

So…to catch everyone up….we were going to retire from the Navy.   And now we’re not.   And all of that happened so quickly, it seems.  It wasn’t overnight, but it was over a few sleepless nights…let’s put it into perspective.

May 2013…we moved to New Mexico
October 2014…we moved to Connecticut
May 2015…we moved back to Washington (that’s where we were prior to New Mexico)
April 2016…we decided to retire and move back to New York (which is where we’re originally from)
January 2017…decided to not retire and move to the Washington DC area

It’s March, now.

If all goes as planned, in just over four years (like a month over, so it barely counts) we’ll have lived in four states.  We’ll have driven far enough to require an overnight stay almost a dozen times.  We’ll have packed and unpacked and said “farewell” to friends and family and “hello, my name is…” more times than I want to count.

Whew.

The other day I woke up and thought, “Did we make the right decision?”

Immediately I pushed the thought from my mind.  I didn’t want to go there because I wasn’t sure.  And I’ve got enough on my plate that I didn’t want to add worry to the to-do list.

But, did we?  Is moving again knowing we’ll be moving again in a few years the right thing to do?  Should we have stuck with retiring?  Are we supposed to stay in Washington?  Are we supposed to go to New York?  So many questions…

So I did think about it.  I took a hot bath and leaned my head back and let my mind process and the tears fall.  I can confidently say, now, that we did make the right decision. Here’s how I know…

1. In a conversation with Gracie recently, she mentioned how much she loved Philadelphia when we went there.  That was a road trip the kids and I took while in Connecticut.  She also really enjoyed the Meteor Crater we saw on the family vacation we took while in New Mexico that included the Grand Canyon, the Hoover Dam, and Vegas.  And she really loved the Corning Glass Museum when we went with my sister and her family on a trip to New York.  Those were her top three.  She couldn’t decide which was really her favorite.  This life it not always easy, but it provides so many opportunities.  The next three years will hold even more!
2. A friend recently said, “This is going to be an amazing adventure for your family.  It would be awful and selfish of me to be anything but excited for you.  I will miss you.”  And on a social media post other friends commented similarly.  And another friend told me what a gift we were giving our children, living all the places we’ve lived and seeing all the things we’ve seen.  I’ve got good friends, don’t I?  And they’re right.  And they’re everywhere, in all the nooks and crannies!  Because we’ve lived all over.  I’m blessed.  And we’re off to make more friends to support us.
3. “Just because it’s difficult, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”  I feel like I’ve heard this as a quote, but can’t find who might have said it originally, although several bloggers have used it or something similar to cover a spectrum of topics.  That’s because it’s true.  This isn’t easy.  And that’s okay.  It doesn’t need to be.  The right path isn’t often the one of least resistance.
4. Perhaps the most important realization is that we (Scott and I) came to the decision together and anything my husband and I decide together is the right decision.  With the facts we had at the time we needed to think this through, we came to the best decision for us.  It leads to so many questions about the months and years to come.  It’s created hoops to jump through, sure.  But we pondered together, considered together, and will jump together too!

So, packing, saying good bye, and road tripping commence!  Hello, new chapter, here we come!