We make decisions every day. Choices about what to eat, what to wear, how fast to drive. We probably don’t actually put much thought into some of them, many of them. But each of those itty bitty selections impacts our lives, doesn’t it? And those are just the minor, seemingly inconsequential decisions in life.
What about the big-uns? What about more monumental moves? Life changers? Don’t we make those every day too?
I, for one, think we do. In fact, I think decisions that we don’t think long and hard about can impact our lives as much as those that we do ruminate on.
I’ve been thinking about this because…life. If you’ve followed this blog for a few months you might remember my post announcing that Scott would be retiring soon. Beginning a few months before that post, I’ve been keenly aware of all the decisions my husband and I are making daily – big and small. Prior to that post I decided not to follow the path I’d previously said I would where I’d be volunteering to teach volunteers. Long story short, it’s a program that helps Navy families and one that is dear to my heart but I felt ready to step away from. Instead I chose to re-enter the work force. Now I work at the YMCA and love what I do.
After getting this job there have been other decisions, some made quickly others pondered for days or weeks. Homeschooling has changed. I’m working out more, but differently than ever before. I’m organizing and playing games and watching movies and reading more too! In short, life is good. It’s content. And it’s changing again.
That decision to retire from the Navy and move back to New York was challenged by the Navy and doors opened where they hadn’t been before. Surprise! More discussion. More choices. More changes.
And just like that, all those choices that seemed to make sense because they lined up with retirement now make sense because they’ve helped us all see that we can have full and fulfilling lives even within the Navy. We (the kids and I) and our lives (ours and Scott’s personal one) weren’t packed in his sea bag when he enlisted two decades ago, but we’re here now. And we’ve realized that we can be a family, support each other, take vacations, share joys and struggles and be a Navy family at the same time. We’re choosing that route. And it’ll be one of the things we have to pick daily from here until we actually do retire.
As part of that, over the last couple of weeks, while we’ve been making decisions about our Navy lives, I’ve been thinking about how that movement (literal movement – like across the country) will impact us again. And thinking about how we’re going to handle this change head on like all the others. Today I decided to do one thing slightly differently than I have previously. I’m going to live each day completely until we’re ready to move. I don’t yet know when that is, but I’m rearranging my furniture and creating a Lego village for our youngest and having lunch with friends and all of it. Right up until we move.
That may sound obvious, but it’s a pretty common occurrence, actually, for withdrawal to start happening in the months leading up to a move. You know, create some distance to make it easier. However, I don’t know that it’s easier. So, instead, I’m milking it for all it’s worth. A few months ago I’d planned on resigning from my job early to put space between me and this career path I love before move away from it. (I know I can work where we’re moving too – but it won’t be the same people. It won’t be the same anything.) Early this morning – like around 2:00 am – I suddenly up and decided I’m not doing that. I’m working until the bitter end. I’m going to smile and cry and laugh. I’m going to nurture friendships. I’m going to live this life here right until this life isn’t in this place anymore.
I like it. It was a decision as spontaneous as what color undies I put on today (teal) and I really think it’s going to be great! Minor movements…major meaning.