Sometimes life gets big.
A friend’s husband died and I find myself in pain for her. I teared up at the grocery store because their muzak was romantic and I found myself thinking about what it would be like to shop for one less person.
Big, deep stuff. A lot for my brain and my emotions.
Thankfully I have little people in my life – my dear, delightful children. They’re often good for grounding me and making me giggle!
This morning, after reading how my friend is struggling with writing her husband’s obituary, Tyler announced that he had a dream (or maybe a nightmare) that the peanut butter jar was empty. I didn’t realize how silly that comment was right away, but it broke my attention from the computer for a second. Then I thought about it and realized almost-eight-year-old maybe-nightmares are pretty goofy!
While I was still processing that, Jace came down to get his breakfast. “Huh. I got out a cup for orange juice and then almost put my cereal in it.” I probably laughed more at that then it warranted.
But it all helped me realize that moments like these are what will break my friend’s heart all over again, but they’ll also help her get through this. She’s incredibly strong, loving, and giving. And she has a great sense of humor and some fantastic kids. Those little people are grieving too, but they’ll stumble on funny moments and silly dreams. And they’ll share them. Comfort might be found in knowing their Dad would have laughed along with them. It might sting too. They love him, how could it not? They will grieve and hurt, but they also laugh. They’ll find a new normal, a new way to talk to and about this man who means so much to them.
Little people do that – they live – and do it their own way. They’re not concerned with what the world might think. They aren’t thinking about the future. They’re not really worried about anyone but themselves. And while that’s all going on internally for them, we adults can benefit from it because they’ll bring us out of our heads. Kids will make us come back from all our what-ifs and if-onlys. They’ll tell jokes that aren’t that funny and we’ll laugh more than it calls for. Our children help us heal.
When life gets big, bringing the focus back to what’s right here, right now can help us laboring adults take one breath at a time. And if we need a reminder of what’s here and now, there are little self-absorbed, eager to please, loving, silly people that can help with that.
Gracie just popped in to say, “I think MMA classes would help in the fight against werewolves and zombies, don’t you?”
Um…yup…pulled me right back to reality.