I love you and I hate you. Now, don’t go getting all huffy. You have to know that you’re the source of not only happiness and joy, but also stress and frustration. I think you’re fairly rational, right? And I can’t be the first to express this dichotomy of feelings for you. So, let’s just talk it out and I’m sure we’ll both feel better.
Let me be honest – you do some things great! As much as I loved my Walkman, I hear iPods are pretty darn nifty. With social media I can keep in touch with friends and relatives all over the world fairly easily. And I absolutely love DVRing everything and fast forwarding through those silly commercials. So, keep up the good work on those fronts.
Maybe you could put some thought into the following things, though. There might be some things to work on here…
- You take over! I have so many friends who feel like they’re losing their spouses and/or their children to your addictive ways. There are kids who’ve forgotten how to play or use their imaginations because your graphics are so radically cool. But there are also husbands who are drawn in by your ease of use. They use you for “a little down time” after a long day of work, but the mindless play (or maybe it’s the cool bangs and booms or your radically cool graphics again, I’m not really sure) hooks them for hours and hours. That’s hours they’re not decompressing with their spouses. That’s hours they’re not helping their kids with homework. That’s hours they’re not even going to bed with their lovers…and, quite honestly, if you’re more distracting than being in bed with a lover, YOU are a problem. But you’re so quiet and unassuming that sometimes that’s hard to accept or for couples and parents to change.
- You change constantly! Updates, upgrades, up everything! Slow your roll, dude. People are camping out to get the newest gadget instead of camping out to see the stars. We’re restarting our electronics to install the latest version of whatever rather than resetting our brains with a full night’s sleep. We’re so fascinated by the newest shiny idea you throw our way. It’s really on us, not you. But you could help a little by not dangling them in front of us quite as frequently, don’t you think? I know, you don’t agree. But I wish you’d at least think about it a little. There might be something to what I’m saying, you know.
- You encourage the absurd. How many of us have used you to post a picture of food, or several pictures of food? How many memes have been created and shared using pictures of cats, 90’s television, and old-fashioned sketch looking pictures? Do people really need to share selfies that chronicle life from before they get out of bed in the morning until after they crawl into bed at night, to include but not limited to every meal and snack, pre and post workout shots, and kissy lips for days? Really, Tech? Really? (May I call you Tech?)
- You don’t encourage forethought. Most everything in the world of technology is shared, posted, updated, and put out there in the world with the simple click of a button. One little touch. Done. Pictures of the one drunken night someone had in college. Angry words about an ex. Rants about our bosses and co-workers. Words we can’t take back. Thoughts we might have expressed differently if we’d thought about it for a second or two more. Do you even remember how people used to consider what they wanted to say before writing it on paper? Do you know what paper is? But, with you, it’s so easy to say and do and share on our phones and i-whatevers. So we do. Maybe too much? Maybe it’s us (again), not you. But maybe it’s a little bit you too.
So, what do you say? Am I being too hard on you? I don’t know…you are handy to have around. I just think people could be a little more cautious about how they use you. Maybe you could be a tool we use to accomplish things rather than the first and last thing we do every day. Maybe you could release your hold on folks just a wee bit. I’d really like my friends to have their husbands be present to them when they’re home. I’d really like our children to have fun in the moment and not miss it because they’re trying to capture a picture of that moment.
I hope you don’t hold my love/hate emotional struggle about you against me. I really do think you’re swell sometimes. Thank you for those times.
And thank you for hearing me out.