If you’ve got kids and you’re closed in a vehicle with them you know they’ll use that opportunity to talk your ear off, don’t you. Uh-huh. You’re smirking because you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Well, I have three kids and a lot of time in the car with them. Here’s some of last night’s conversation…notice the fantastically illogical flow:
Tyler: Okay, so can I tell you a story from child watch?
Tyler: Sooo…this one time at child watch, three kids got injured. One ran into a wall. One got hit in the face with a ball and one got pushed and fell. And, just so you know, I wasn’t any of those kids. Not even the pushing one.
Gracie: Are you done? Well, we did “Who Dat?” in Zumba! And I told Angela how much you love that one and that she should do it in Mixxed Fit Wednesday too. You’re welcome. (backseat giggling) (For your information, “Who Dat?” is a killer squat workout! Thanks, Gracie.)
Jace: It’s my turn. I’ve been waiting patiently and it’s my turn to talk. So, I thought of a cool alarm for our house. It could be four levels…plenty of warning. First lights would turn on. Next the lights would blink, not like strobes, but just blink.
Gracie: Like blink…blink…blink?
Jace: Yeah, like that.
Jace: I’m not done. We haven’t gotten to level four, yet. So, after the blinking lights, level three would be strobe lights and an announcement saying, “I’m armed – leave!” or something like that. Then, level four would be flashing lights in the windows that look like muzzle blasts along with poppers in the lawn that kick up dirt. Intruders will think they’re being shot at!
Me: Sounds like a lot of work.
Jace: Maybe. You would have to bury the poppers so you don’t blow up the lawn mower, but I think it would be worth it. I’m going to do it at my house.
Me: Okay, Tyler, what did you want to say?
Tyler: I don’t remember. But I thought of something else. I could be an inventor when I grow up and invent things.
Jace: An inventor who invents things? Huh.
Me: (dirty look to Jace)
Tyler: Yeah, except I won’t have to make the stuff. I’ll just think of the ideas and tell other people to make them. But I’ll still get the money.
Gracie: Is it my turn again? I have more to say! At the climbing wall I got farther than Jace!
Jace: Like two inches farther!
Gracie: Still counts!
Jace: Fine! Then that’s your turn, now it’s mine! Did you know that in Russia it’s legal to drive with a bear in your car? As long as, and this is important…as long as the bear is buckled in.
Tyler: Weird! I think I’d invent a mailbox that brings your mail to your house, unlocks your door, and delivers it to your table. Or the counter. You could program it probably.
Gracie: So a stalker mailbox?
Tyler: Yeah! But a good stalker. It wouldn’t have daggers or anything. Unless you ordered them and they came in the mail. But the mailbox wouldn’t know that. So I think you’d be safe. (Pause) I should probably think about this idea a little more.
And on, and on, and on…
I’m pretty sure we covered topics ranging from why American football isn’t in the Olympics to the likelihood of Gracie being a spy to a song that Tyler sang to the other drivers on the road.
No wonder I was exhausted by the time we got home.